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27 September 2010 @ 03:58 pm
For bringing me here
For showing me home
For singing these tears
Finally I've found
That I belong here...

Yeah I know, I have a habit of channeling my feelings into music/lyrics, but hey that is the best way I know how. Anyways, today was pretty dull, I am starting to feel a little better after being so sick over the past week or so. Monthly visitor is kicking my ass though, figures the suck switches up. Not sure of my current situation with the holidays this year, I haven't confirmed if I am going home for Christmas or not yet. That all depends on my Mother, but yeah I am not going to get into that today.

In other news, it's hot here, suppose to break after today and start getting cool. Not digging this whole Indian summer thing, hot or cold please. I think that is how I got sick, well how Kyle got sick, and gave it to me. But anyways, I am going to cut this entry short for today. Hope everyone is doing well, and much love to you all. Later.
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Dave Gahan - Hourglass
27 September 2010 @ 03:47 am
Well, Depeche Mode did say it best. Here I am again, funny how things have this habit of coming full circle in my life. Days are going by, and I am getting better, dealing with things instead of shoving them down inside or at the bottom of a empty bottle of booze. I quit smoking and I am starting to slowly trust myself and other people in my life as well. I am in love, and I am very lucky to have someone in my life that has stuck it out with me through thick and thin, because trust me folks, this man has been through the ringer with me. I have been the depressed, angry, drunken widow that wanted nothing more than to drink my way straight into the dirt. I've also played the role of the out of control party girl trying to mask her inner pain with temporary friends and more alcohol. I've been the horrid daughter that has worried her parents to their wits end, wondering if I was alive or dead one day to the next. You name it, I've played part in the Masquerade. I'm not proud, but then again I don't regret it, because it all happened for a reason. For me to be the person I am today, for me to know what I know now.

I miss some of my friends, but most of all I miss Eddie. He wasn't just my husband, he was my best friend. I told him everything, he told me everything, we where one in the same. I lost a large piece of myself when he left this world, and it will never be replaced. I have comes to terms with it, it gets easier everyday. I miss him so much, but I Know he doesn't want me to let my life come to a standstill because hes gone. He was one of the best things I had going for me in my life, and I can't thank him enough for touching my life and heart the way he did. He was such a amazing person, it's hard to even try to put into words the kinda guy he was. I love him still, and miss him dearly, not a day passes that I don't think of him in my daily routine.

As for the people in my life I have hurt during this whole whirlwind of events, I am truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart and soul. There are quite a few that I really regret saying and doing the things I did towards you. Just know, I am trying my best to not be that sick person anymore, that's right, I was sick. I couldn't go one day without having a drink in my hand and being thoroughly wasted. Due the alcohol, I did and said some things I am not very proud of. I have lost friendships, good solid friendships, over me not wanting to deal with the pain and lashing out at others or just pushing people away. I was even guilty of shutting my own family out. I don't EVER want to walk that path again, that is a side of myself I wish for no one to have to ever see again. Once again, I am so sorry, and just know I am still here and love you all dearly and thank you for everything, even if you never read this.

I feel so much better that I spilled this all out in the open and got it off my chest. Thank you for listening if you are, and even if no one is, this is still closure for myself....
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Depeche Mode - Walking In My Shoes
04 May 2006 @ 10:12 am
I have been on this thing FOREVER!!!!!!! Ha , Been to addicted to Myspace. Well , Lets see whats new. Well we'll be moving into a house soon (SWEEET!). We'll be coming home in June to visit , in the middle of the month. And that's pretty much it.

Well I can't think of anything thing else to say , Talk at ya'll later...
Current Location: Living Room
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Prodigy - Breathe

Lindsay Lohan is Mean Girls Love.



This super- whorish colorbar is for My Eddie , LOL , it's his and Doc's desert girlie.


Well, Like I have said soooooo many times , I hate Drama and I despise the people who start it. I really don't like drama the most when It's me or my family who are the target of it. Let's just say someone  has stepped the line with talkin shit about Tha Becky and I am quite pissed. Now believe me she knows who she is. I didn't know she had this side to her that is why I was sooo suprised when Becky and I spoke today. But , she'll get her's , and at this point I don't care if it would hurt her little feelings. Nobody fucks with my family or my friends , talk shit about me all you want , But when it comes to the ones I love , Fuck you. 

In other news , I love Billy Idol's new music, It totally rocks. I watched Inuyasha lastnight, It was good and then I watched TriGun after that. Heather! When did they decide to switch ATHF with Harvey Birdman? I was all confused last-night! Ha...I was like that's not right.

Well, There's not really much else to say, I love you baby, I love you all, Especially Tha Becky! Take care everyone........Later

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Current Mood: naughtyPissedOff
Current Music: Billy Idol - Cherie
Image hosted by Photobucket.com The Labyrinth is mystical love Made by sillymongoose

First let me start-off by saying sorry. I also like so many of us have had to change my Journal to Friends Only, because of shallow people. I appologize for whomever this may effect. I love you all , but I want to keep my Journal to where I can express how I feel and not be attacked by others for my thought and ideas. I thought that was what this was for, shit.

Anyways, in other news, my Dad was supposed to come home in the middle of next month , but It looks like he's not coming home til the first of June, so shit on me, uh! I miss my Dad you guys, my dad isn't just my Dad but my best-friend. I know what your thinkin, what a Daddy's Girl, yeah maybe I am but I miss my Dad. I miss Eddie, I miss my real-friends, Crystal, Becky, Angel, Danny, you know who you all are. We've all been so busy with our lives , I just now in the past few months have been able to keep up with Crystal. Which Her and I need to hang-out when Eddie comes home for leave. Becky and Danny too.

Well, I gonna cut this short for now, I love you Babe, and I love you all and Take care....

Oh, Syko_Doll, this ColorBar is for you.... :)

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</td></tr></tbody></table> Here's another Quiz,God this is funny!
Your Boobies' Names Are: Beavis and Butthead

Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Current Music: New System of the Down Material
14 April 2005 @ 08:00 pm

Man, it's hard trying to turn yourself into a sexy bitch. I swear everything on my body aches from working out. I did 80 sit-ups on my stability ball, lifted weights to tone my arms and back, did 80 push-ups on the stability ball, and squats til my thighs were on fire. I've been on this whole weightloss and getting in shape thing for about two months going on 3. Which is good fro me because I'll feel more confiedent and happy with myself. I'm not like extremely over-weight or anything but I just not pleased with myself right now. I want to be more toned, I hate being cubby even.

Well, enough of that shit! Momma Tina called today to say Hi and see how we we're doing, we talked briefly cuz she was a bit busy. I also went over to my Omi's to help her with some house work b/c there's just somethings she can't do on her own. I'm getting a new layout for my LJ page, It's going to be themed with The Crow, all red black and white, diff tones of each. It'll be pretty badass.

Well, that's enough for now, I love you Babe, take care everyone, Later....

Oh, and here's a new quiz thingy, Crystal's got me all addicted

Check it!

Stephanie Carolina Reeves's Aliases

Your movie star name: Grapes Ualmond
Your fashion designer name is Stephanie Rome
Your socialite name is Stinker Panama City
Your fly girl / guy name is S Ree
Your detective name is Monkey Davelville High School
Your barfly name is Banana Jack-n-Coke
Your soap opera name is Carolina 826 Old Newton Road
Your rock star name is Nerds Cheeta
Your star wars name is Stejin Reeedd
Your punk rock band name is The Hyper Peeler
Current Mood: drainedSuperFreakinTired
Current Music: Chasing Victory - Step into the light
10 April 2005 @ 11:00 pm

I spoke with Heather today, we talked for like two hours about her boyfriend Josh.

On a better note, I had a nice time with my Omi at church and all. I called my other Grandparents and spoke with them also, whichthat was nice too. I kinda wish Eddie would call though, but I know when he gets a chance he will. Well, I'm gonna finish up for now, I love you babe, take care everyone, Later...... Oh and I decided to do two quizes, enjoy

You are the Spirit of Love. You think around
romance and are extremely compassionate.
Whenever you want something you can get it due
to your fiery passion. You can make friends
quite easily, because peopole are attracted to
your obvious good nature. You will have no
trouble in finding a life partner and will be
very happy.

Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla lonely moon
you represent the hard times in life. you have a
hard life yourself and a hidden self many don't
know about.

What part of life do you represent? ( AWESOME anime pics ^_^)
brought to you by Quizilla
Current Mood: rejuvenatedrejuvenated
Current Music: The Cure - Burn
09 April 2005 @ 09:20 pm
Image hosted by Photobucket.com Queen Of The Damned is vampiric rocker love Made by sillymongoose

I finally found a Queen of the Damned colorbar, I was so happy when I found it. This one is great, the last few I come upon had really bad quality.

In other news, I went over to the future in-laws house yesterday and had a nice time with everyone. I briefly saw Becky gave her a hug, she commented on my shirt, humped my wallet and she was off to see Randy. Justin, T, and I played pool for awhile, Tina and Jodie were in there with us. Jodie- Bug was playing the racket ball game, and I swear she's totally addicted to that game. Heather called while I was out, I called her ass back, BUT she wasn't at home. I am a little concerned about Danny, he is going through a hard time right now, so everyone just pray for him.

Well, I'm going to cut this short b/c I have to go to church in the morning with my Omi. I love you babe, Take care everyone. Later.....

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Current Mood: creativeFeelinAright
Current Music: Rooney - Why
05 April 2005 @ 10:32 pm


I have great news! EDDIE AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED WHEN HE COMES HOME FOR LEAVE!!!! I am soooo excited. I called everyone today, family & friends. Momma Tina called and we talked and she told me how happy she was for us. We really want to make it offical, plus it will make it easier for us to start preparing for or future a little bit ahead. I cannot even explain the happiness I feel a this moment. He is the greatest thing that has happened to me and I am so glad we got this second chance to be together, and now we're getting married. I love and I am very thankful for everyone who has had my back and excepted us and believe in us all this time. You all will never know how much that means to me.

I love you all, and I love you Edmund John Jeffers, You've made me the happiest woman in the world.




The Reason

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You (4x)

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

Current Mood: touchedSoInLoveWithASpecialMan
Current Music: Hoobastank - The Reason
04 April 2005 @ 04:15 pm

It is Monday, New Episode of Inuyasha on Adult swim, well, not really new-new, but new to me! Damn right and that's all that matters. I've kinda noticed that alot of my friends have been depressed lately, what's up with that? Yo Danny, you never called me and I never got to meet your girl. Your Grammy called me asking for my number because you didn't have it. She called my Grandparents asking for it, then called me and we talked for about an hour.

In other news, I have lost 5 pounds Bitches! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. i feel better about myself but I still have a little ways to go till I get  to my target weight. Plus, I want to tone up too.

Well, I'm going to cut it short for today, I love you Babe, take everyone! Later...

You Are Amy Lee!

Gothy, expressive, woman-in-pain Who looks damn good in a corset "When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears"

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.
Current Mood: accomplishedHappy at the moment
Current Music: Strata- Never there